Don't get me wrong. I like spending time with my children. But I do not like spending two extra days following a three-day weekend, particularly when going outside is a short-term option. They become bored too easily with indoor pursuits, especially those designed to improve their minds or the cleanliness level of our home.
So my kids have developed a series of games for those days when they're forced to endure one another's company for hours on end. One, which I call "Idunnoididntdoit", has simple rules: any time an authority figure asks who did something, the child is required to give the appropriate response or lose the round:
Authority Figure: "Who left all these papers (dishes - crumbs - toys) on the floor (stairs - table - chair)?
Heir to the Throne: "I don't know. I didn't do it."
Little Princess: "I don't know. I didn't do it."
Authority Figure: "Who opened four boxes of cereal just to get the toys out and left a three-foot high pile of Captain Crunch in the center of the dining room table?
Heir to the Throne: "I don't know. I didn't do it."
Little Princess: "I don't know. I didn't do it."
You get the idea. Of course, there are variations to this game. There's "Idunnomaybedaddidit" -- a novel suggestion indeed, particularly when the crime involves Barbie dolls and putting clothes on one of the cats -- and, one of my all-time favorite games, simple in concept, but tricky to play, especially when the Authority Figure (read that as "Mom") has been trying to take a nap because she's suffering from a splitting headache and has just spent the past hour listening to her off-spring quarrel loudly over ownership of a Backstreet Boys CD. It's called "Dadsaidwecould."
Mom: Didn't I tell you to keep it down because I'm trying to take a nap?
Children: "But Mom, Dad said we could listen to our music."
But the game my kids seem to like best when they're held prisoner inside the house with nothing but 6,498 toys, games, movies and books to entertain them is: "Theresnuthintodosoletswhine."
The way it works is this: The players go into their playroom and bedrooms and dig out everything they've ever owned. They then proceed to scatter these things (laced with liberal sprinklings of their school supplies and clothing) all over the house. This take 14 minutes of concentrated effort. They stop and eat a couple of Little Debbie Snack Cakes in order to refortify themselves. Then they look at the Authority Figure -- one of whom is deeply immersed in the last few moments of a football game, while the other is attempting to find a recipe that combines peanut butter and lettuce, both of which she has in excess abundance -- and they whine, "There's nothing to do!"
The Authority Figure then says, "You have enough toys, movies, games and books to fill the New York Public Library and there's nothing to do? Well, then, go clean your rooms!"
And that game, my dear, is known as: "Whiningwontgetyouanywherearoundhere."
