Knowing my investment in small metal personal care objects has exceeded the budget of many small Balkan nations, please answer just one question for me: WHY CAN'T I EVER FIND ANY NAIL CLIPPERS?
It's one of the greatest mysteries of my life. I've purchased about 7,859 pairs of clippers alone, so why is it that whenever I'm in the bathroom preparing for a shower and want to clip my nails I can't find a single pair? Not one. I mutter a few unladylike syllables, then go ahead and take my shower. Afterwards I check all the normal places a pair of nail clippers would reside, but in this house it's like looking for Osama bin Laden if one exists, it's obviously either altered its appearance or is so well-hidden it's going to take a special ops team to find it. And it's the same with the tweezers.
How do I handle this routinely occurring scenario? I buy another set of nail clippers or tweezers. I take them home and put them in the drawer. And, just like Sasquatch, once I initially sight the darn things, they evaporate, never to be found again. So what's a logical, modern mom like myself do in a case like this?
I hide them. I put them in bureau drawers or lock them in a small travel bag. And you know what? They still disappear!
OK. I'm not a total dummy. Some misguided elf with no sense of mission isn't slipping into my house in the middle of the night and, instead of fixing shoes, stealing my clippers as I sleep. Nope, there's an excellent reason for this and I know just what or who is to blame:
My husband.
That's right. My spouse, significant other, one-and-only
my hubby is at the bottom of this and not for the reason you think. He doesn't actually hand the tweezers and clippers to the real culprit our daughter. Nor does he tell her where they are stashed away. He simply passes on his DNA. You see he looks like a man, but he's actually a reincarnated bloodhound..
