The King of Procrastination actually believes me when I say I don't want anything for Christmas!  See how the game is played.

When my husband starts reading newspaper ads along about Thanksgiving time, it can mean only one thing . . . I'll be getting appliances for Christmas - again!  Here's the warning signs!

What does "winning" have to do with baseball? It all depends on whether you're the parent or the child.  Check out our "Babe" in the making!

What does it mean exactly when your husband actually helps without you asking? Guilt? Amnesia? No-no -- there's a much simpler answer. And it's right here.

What we women have to realize, is that owning a riding lawn mower has nothing to do with how much grass you do or don't have . . . for men, it's a love like no other!  And here's the proof . . .

You got to appreciate a man who's smart enough to know not to get in the way of woman with her hand stuck in a frozen chicken!  Read on . . .

My husband has his own version of a First Aid Kit -- a bottle of green stuff and a bottle of alcohol.  I am Mother . . . hear me rant!

What is it with men anyway?  Ask for a simple opinion about your hair & they cower in the corner like a scared puppy.  Come play "Truth or Dare" with me.

There is such a thing as too much togetherness . . . it's what they call that time when you put furniture together . . . together!  Read and learn.

If you were readng this ezine while waiting for hubby to find "the best parking place" at the mall, you'd have time to read all the past issues!  Circle around with me one more time . . .

Everyone has their job.  His is being designated driver -- mine is being the ever-vigilant Safety Officer.   It's my job to yell "STOP!"

OK - Here's a test for you . . . what's worse? Surgically removing a husband from his remote control or catching a cat who doesn't want to be caught?  Find out here.

I've seen GQ Magazine . . . my husband apparently hasn't.   Meet . . . My Trendy Guy

And what is it men love even more than their old clothes? (No -- not that!)  Read all about having The Right Tools

To Outdoor Types . . . Sweating Is A Noble Pastime -- As for me -- I'll be at the Holiday Inn if you need me!

 Go ahead . . . give your husband shopping hints . . . not that he'll hear you!  This is how men shop . . .   It Ain't A Pretty Sight!

I did my best to shop 'til I dropped in Italy, but most Roman women are built like a breadstick.  Come empathize on my shopping spree.

No matter how old you get, some memories stay with you . . . I, for instance, will never forget Stinky Bear.

Martha Stewart I'm not! My idea of a home-made gift is a tin can turned into a pencil holder.  Read about some of my other creations!

There are few things that are scarier than "me" in the morning.  Until I've had my coffee, I'm worse than any scary movie creature you can name! See for yourself.

Some things in life you never forget . . . like the initial shock of finding yourself standing in a department store actually contemplating buying a . . .  DUSTER!!! Will I do it?

You'd think that a woman who has to lift the family laundry hamper on a regular basis would qualify as an Olympic weightlifter.   But alas, my only good buns come from the grocery store!

Mothers don't have to go out in the world to get sick -- we're lucky enough to have our families import the germs to us!  Visit me on my sick bed.

Will modern science ever devise a doughnut low in carbohydrates and full of vitamins?  Come dream with me!

OK -- so I like my  lime green culottes and knee socks.  That's no reason for my kids to be horrified that someone will recognize me as their mother! Come be indignant with me!

No one can say that I can't hold up my end of the conversation when the subject turns to film . . . I'll have you know that I know as much about Barney and The Road to Eldorado as anyone!

You know those TV ads that promise if you put their product in your tub, you'll be magically transported out of your household chaos?  Baloney!

I don't think I'm too bad the way I am, as woman my age go . . . but my son seems to prefer to think of me as "Stone Cold Carole Moore"

From big hair to Cher hair, and lately to "STOP-sign red"-- I've tried it all.  Commiserate with me . . . read A Hair-Raising Tale!

It's bad enough we have to get old . . . but the final humiliation comes when your kids tell you that your dancing "looks gross! Share my humiliation . . .    Who Says I'm Not Cool!

Normal women have "lumps" in strategic places . . . Have you looked for a dress lately for women with lumps? You won't find one here, but you can Share My Misery

I'm so excited -- I lost 10 lbs! Just wish it weren't the same 10 lbs that I've already lost several times over! Barefoot and Naked -- The Only Way to Weigh Yourself!

Downeast NC . . . where pig-pickin' and basketball seasons collide.  Ya'll come visit ya' hear?

We weren't exactly a Martha Stewart family, but we do have fond family traditions . . . a Fruit of the Loom tradition, you might say.

Some of the best stories in your life are those that come from misunderstandings and slightly humiliating moments -- like my Mom's puppy dog tale.

You'd think a 7-year-old's idea of the perfect woman would be someone like his mother wouldn't you? Well, let me burst your bubble -- read "Love in The Elementary Set."

Some things in life just require keeping a cool head . . . like when a giant cockroach hangs precariously over the head of a visitor. Come be horrified with me . . .

Memories of the movie theatres of my childhood always bring to my mind how much I loved my Mummies!  Come share the good old days!

My daughter is approaching teenhood and working her way through the entire personal products section of the drug stores.  See how her brother is helping her spend my money.

There are mothers . . . and there are mothers -- know what I mean?  Read about Perfect Mothers . . . and the Other Kind

My neighbor is seeing rabbits . . . big white ones . . . Jimmy Stewart, Harvey-type rabbits . . .  join our neighborhood rabbit hunt for the big fella!

And don't miss Bunny, Bunny -- Where is the Bunny? -- Part II

It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.  When it comes to eating out decisions . . .             the Queen Mum rules!

Now be honest all you mothers . . . when's the last time YOU had an uninterrupted telephone call?   Listen in on my group phone conversation here.

Well Yes . . . But Working From Home Isn't Like Having A Real Job!  -- Everyone knows that Moms who work from home have nothing but time!

Some of us are willing to do anything to get our story and make ourselves "look good."  But there's a lesson to be learned in that -- Never Turn Your Back (or Bottom) to the Camera!

Surprise visitors can get a real surprise of their own when they ring my doorbell.  "Haven't you ever seen anyone who works at home?"

Send a letter to the Editor or ask about freelance rates --  I'm all ears! Drop me a note here